I went to med stop because my body has been waving every red flag it knows how to raise: chills, a low-grade fever, nausea, my heart rate climbing higher than it has in a month, and a level of fatigue that sits deep in the bones. I tried to explain all of that, hoping to rule out infection or anything making things worse. The response? “I don’t know what’s going on. What did you want from today?”

Honestly, he just seemed lost, so he walked to the other side of the building to talk with my primary care doc. She said, “She was supposed to see me about this on the 26th.” And in my head I was already answering back… well, guess what, Doc, it got worse. The numbers climbed higher. I’ve spent several days maxed out with my HR sitting at 120+ and burning through my pace points in my Visible app just trying to exist.

Here is the part that frustrated me the most. At the first sign of a possible infection, with all the medications I am on, I am supposed to report to my doctors and let them know what is happening. That is not optional. That is part of staying safe, especially while taking a biologic and methotrexate. I am not being dramatic. I am following medical guidance to make sure I do not end up fighting something my immune system cannot handle.

So I did what so many of us with chronic illness learn to do. I took a breath and calmly said, “I want to make sure there isn’t an infection hiding somewhere.”

They ran an EKG, which of course looked normal because I was lying still. Labs were ordered, and I’ll be wearing a Cardiac Holter monitor for three days to track my heart rate. Progress, I suppose.

But yet then came this: the classic line: “If it gets worse, go to the ER.” Great. Thanks, dude. Just write me off and send me into the chaos instead of actually addressing the fever, the flushed cheeks, the chills, and the constant temperature swings that make my body feel like it’s arguing with itself.

Living in a body that doesn’t follow predictable rules means advocating even when you’re tired of explaining. It means trusting your intuition when something feels off. And it means reminding yourself that normal test results do not erase real symptoms.

If you’re walking a similar path, let this be your reminder: you are allowed to ask questions, to push for answers, and to keep showing up for yourself even on the days when the system feels exhausting.

Much love and many blessings,

Mrs B