This letter comes from a session I had in therapy today, about my need to have control since so many times in my life I had none. It’s an open and honest conversation with myself, reflecting on the various moments that have shaped my understanding of control and vulnerability. I’ve often felt overwhelmed by circumstances beyond my grasp, leading me to cling tightly to what I could manage. This need for control often manifests itself in my everyday decisions and relationships, as I strive to create a sense of safety amidst the chaos around me. Each experience, whether it was a turbulent childhood situation or a challenging professional hurdle, has reinforced my desire to exert influence over my life. In acknowledging these feelings during therapy, I strive to recognize that there is strength in vulnerability and that relinquishing some control might lead to a deeper understanding of myself and a healthier approach to the unpredictability of life.

This need for control has been both a coping mechanism and a source of anxiety, making me realize how essential it is to find a balance in my life. As I delve deeper into these feelings, I come to understand that embracing uncertainty is just as important as seeking stability. In navigating this complex landscape of emotions, I begin to see how the drive for control can sometimes shield me from the richness of experiences that lie in unpredictability. Through this exploration, I find the strength to accept my imperfections and acknowledge that it’s okay to let go at times, allowing life to unfold in unexpected and beautiful ways. I am learning that by surrendering the need to control every aspect, I create space for spontaneity, creativity, and new opportunities, fostering a deeper connection with myself and the world around me. This journey encourages me to take calculated risks, trust in the process, and ultimately embrace the ebb and flow of life, cherishing every moment that comes my way.

Dear Me,

It’s okay.

It’s okay to carve out a space for yourself—a quiet, sacred corner of your life where you can just breathe, just be. A place where you can rest, reflect, and reconnect with the essence of who you are. It’s okay to let the world pause around you while you take the time you need to heal, to find your footing, and to honor your journey. This space doesn’t have to be grand or elaborate; it could simply be a cozy chair by the window, a favorite spot in your backyard, or a peaceful corner of your room. What matters is that it feels like a sanctuary where you can lower your guard and be unapologetically you.

You don’t always have to be in control. You don’t have to have every answer, every plan, or every outcome figured out. Sometimes, the greatest strength lies in surrender—in allowing yourself to simply exist without expectation or judgment, trusting that the path will reveal itself in time. Embrace the unknowns; these uncertainties are what make life rich and transformative. When you release the need to control, you make room for spontaneity and new experiences that can lead you down unexpected yet fulfilling paths.

It’s okay to seek comfort, to ask for understanding, to say, “I need time.” You are not weak for needing space; you are brave for recognizing that self-care is essential. It’s a radical act of love to honor your limits and to protect the energy you need to flourish. Sometimes, it takes immense courage to advocate for your own needs, especially in a world that often values productivity and action over reflection and rest. Remember that by prioritizing your well-being, you not only care for yourself but also become a more present participant in the lives of those around you.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. To sit in your emotions fully, even when they are messy, heavy, or confusing. And it’s okay to then find the balance—however that balance may look for you. Some days it will be quiet reflection, some days movement, some days laughter, some days just a deep, grounding breath. Every step, no matter how small or hidden, matters. Honor the full spectrum of your feelings; allow joy and sorrow to coexist as a reminder of your humanity. By acknowledging all of your emotions, you create a richer, more nuanced understanding of yourself.

Give yourself permission to feel. Permission to grieve the pieces of you that have fallen away as you’ve grown. Permission to love yourself fiercely, to celebrate your resilience, and to honor every scar and triumph along the way. You are allowed to change, to shed what no longer serves you, and to rise from the ashes of who you once were into the fullness of who you are becoming. Recognize that transformation takes time, and every layer you release is a step toward a more authentic existence.

And in all of this, do not forget your spirit. You are a seeker, a practitioner, a soul walking its own sacred path. Finding time to connect with your practices—whatever they may be—is not a luxury; it is a lifeline. Whether it is meditation, journaling, ritual, prayer, energy work, or simply pausing to observe the beauty of the world around you, these moments anchor you. They remind you of your connection to the universe, to something greater than yourself, and to the deep, endless reservoir of wisdom within you. Make it a point to explore different practices; be open to what resonates with you in different seasons of your life.

Your spiritual practice does not need to be perfect. It does not need to look a certain way or happen on anyone else’s schedule. What matters is that you make space for it, honor it, and let it nourish you. These are the practices that bring clarity when life is chaotic, peace when your heart is heavy, and guidance when you feel lost. Embrace the ebb and flow of your spiritual journey; it, too, has its own rhythm and pace.

So breathe. Be gentle with yourself. Hold space for your heart, your spirit, and your growth. Love yourself fully and without hesitation. Grieve what has been lost, celebrate what you have survived, and nurture the parts of you that are still blossoming. This season of tenderness and care is essential, not just for personal healing but also for creating a path that allows you to contribute positively to the world around you.

You are deserving of love, patience, and understanding—especially from yourself. And as you continue to walk your path, remember: the time you spend caring for your inner world, for your spirit, and for the sacred practices that feed your soul is never wasted. It is the foundation that allows you to shine, to heal, and to truly be. By cultivating this inner sanctuary, you enable yourself to face life’s challenges with resilience, grace, and an ever-deepening sense of self-compassion. You are more than enough, just as you are.

With all the care and reverence you need,
Me