Sometimes, the Universe whispers softly, almost like a gentle breeze brushing against your skin. Other times, it practically yanks you by the shirt collar and points directly at the path you need to take. That’s how it felt when I first came across the name of my new therapist.

There was an undeniable pull—not just a casual, “Oh, she looks good” kind of moment—but a deep, soul-level knowing that struck me unexpectedly. Her name caught my eye in a list that seemed to pulsate with energy, and before I even absorbed her bio or considered her credentials, something profound within me whispered, “It’s her. Choose her.”

I went ahead and made that choice. And now, as I reflect on this experience, I know exactly why that pull was so powerful. It’s as if the threads of my existence were woven tighter, guiding me toward this connection. I can feel the gratitude swelling in my heart. Thank you, Ancestors, I know that was you guiding me in this decision.

This sense of interconnection and divine timing is a bittersweet reminder of how significant our choices can be. I feel a deep appreciation for the wisdom that has been passed down through generations. Also, thank you for being so loud and insistent that I chose her. The clarity of purpose behind that guidance was unmissable, and it has opened doors I didn’t even know existed.

She’s from the same state I am in. She understands the language of shadow work, the rhythm of meditation, the power of mindfulness, and the sacred expression of art. She doesn’t shy away from spiritual exploration or intuitive healing, and yet she’s grounded in the science of cognitive therapy. She’s exactly what I needed—before I even knew how much I needed it.

For the first time in my life, I’m actually excited about therapy.

It’s taken me a long time to get here. I’ve done talk therapy before. I’ve journaled, I’ve read the books, I’ve self-soothed and spiritually bypassed and convinced myself that I could shoulder everything alone. But the truth is… I can’t anymore. I shouldn’t have to.

This recent diagnosis of Autism added new layers to my already colorful, complicated neurodivergent tapestry. It didn’t shake my world. But it did shift how I look at myself, how I understand my past, and how I approach my present. Suddenly, the world feels both more vast and more confining all at once; I see it in sharper contrast. There are things I have to work through; old wounds, new stressors, emotional overwhelm, executive dysfunction, sensory burnout. That all have quietly grown too big to carry alone. They’ve been slowing my healing. I see that now. I feel it in my bones.

I often find myself remembering the frustrations of navigating social situations or the sheer exhaustion that comes from overstimulation. Each moment feels like a reminder of the battles fought within my mind. I’ve learned to cope, yes, but coping is not living fully. Therapy, this time, doesn’t feel like a box I have to check or a last-ditch solution. It feels like a portal.

An opening. A breath of fresh air. A promise that there’s a path forward, and that I don’t have to walk it by myself. I think about the potential insights yet to be uncovered and the healing conversations waiting to unfold. It’s about untangling the web of my experiences and understanding how each thread contributes to the person I am today.

This journey is not just about addressing a checklist of issues; it’s about rebuilding my relationship with myself. Each session will be a step towards a more integrated and authentic self. The excitement I feel is rooted in the anticipation of growth. A growth that honors my past while embracing my future. I believe that through this therapeutic partnership, I will uncover the tools I need to truly thrive, empowered to make choices that reflect my true self and my unique quirks.

The road ahead might be challenging, but for the first time, I feel ready to explore it with an open heart and mind, hopeful for what is yet to come.

We’re going to explore mindfulness and meditation, both of which I’ve long used in my spiritual practice. Mindfulness allows us to stay present, connecting us deeply to our thoughts and feelings, while meditation serves as a refuge, a space where we can find tranquility amidst chaos. But now I get to deepen these practices with intention and structure, creating a framework that enhances the benefits I’ve experienced.

We’re going to do shadow work, the kind that actually honors the sacred darkness instead of fearing it. This work invites us to face the parts of ourselves we often hide away, embracing our fears, insecurities, and traumas. By integrating shadow work, we can transform these aspects into powerful allies that guide us toward healing and self-acceptance.

We’re incorporating art therapy, which feels like home to my creative, visual, emotionally-charged self. Art therapy provides an outlet for expression beyond words, allowing emotions to flow freely onto the canvas. It promotes a deep sense of understanding and connection to my innermost feelings, creating a safe space for exploration without judgment.

And we’re balancing it all with cognitive therapy, giving me practical tools to reframe and rewire the thought patterns that keep me stuck, looking at you OCD. This cognitive approach helps dismantle the limiting beliefs that can hinder my growth, fostering a mindset that is resilient and adaptable. By integrating cognitive therapy, I can learn to challenge negative thoughts and replace them with empowering narratives.

This is therapy—but it’s also healing on a soul level. It encompasses not just the mental and emotional aspects but also nurtures the spirit. It recognizes that healing is a multifaceted journey, addressing the complexities of being human. Through these practices, I am not just seeking change; I am inviting transformation, embracing the fullness of my existence, and recognizing the beauty in both light and shadow.

And I want to say this to anyone who’s still struggling, still searching, still trying to figure out what “help” is supposed to look like: Don’t ignore the pull.
If something or someone feels like a soft yes in your bones, listen.
That might be your higher self, your ancestors, or the Divine nudging you toward the next right thing. Pay attention to those instincts; they can often be clearer than any logical reasoning we might try to impose on ourselves.

I didn’t expect to be here—excited for therapy, hopeful for growth, finally feeling like I’ve found someone who sees me. But here I am. And I’m ready. Ready to unpack all that I’ve held onto for so long, to confront the fears that have followed me like shadows, and to embrace the uncertainties that come with change. It is a brave step to take, to trust others with our vulnerabilities, but it is also a necessary step towards healing.

Here’s to healing. Slowly. Gently. Fully. To allowing ourselves the grace of time, understanding that growth is not always a linear path. Sometimes, it is two steps forward and one step back. And that’s okay. In this journey, let’s not forget to celebrate the small victories, the moments of clarity, and the connections we build along the way. Each one is a testament to our resilience and a reminder that we are never truly alone in our struggles.

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🌀 Affirmation:
“I trust the guidance of my intuition. I am worthy of support, and healing is my birthright.”

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Much love and many blessings,
Mrs. B
Unconventional Momma